The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries immense significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership i was reading this to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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